About the word “busy,” we’ve all heard — or even uttered — these sentences: “I’d love to, but I’m too busy.” “Some other time, since I’m so busy.” “I’m as busy in retirement as I’ve ever been.”
In 1986 sociologist David Ekerdt introduced the concept of the “busy ethic.” He claimed “retirement is morally managed and legitimated… by an ethic that esteems leisure that is earnest, occupied, and filled with activity.”
Ekerdt explained why we may adhere to a busy ethic:
- It legitimizes leisure. We’re uncomfortable with idleness, so best to seem busy.
- It symbolically defends us against aging. If we’re active, we’re still youthful.
- It justifies time off. We can take “vacations” from our pursuits.
Yes, society likes us to fill our days with activity. We boast of being busy. In our later years, good health — physical and mental — rests, in part, upon our state of busyness.
AT STAKE IS CHOICE
Studies of aging indicate our patterns of behaviour do not change just because we get older. If we take up skydiving, for instance, as former President George Bush did on his birthdays turning 80, 85 and 90, we’ve likely been daring all our lives. If we favoured reading, we may opt in retirement to read the more than dozen major novels of Charles Dickens, as did my friend Ken. If we relished multiple activities, we’ll continue being active as we age.
Copious activity, however, may leave some of us cold. In another post, I wrote of the value in crafting a daily agenda. But it needn’t be rife with activity; we can build contemplation into our days. As my friend Drew says, “sometimes I want to stare at the four walls.”
In the past, others may have dictated much of our activity but now we control our agendas. Depending on our personality, we will incorporate more, or less, activity. Inactivity does not always equal indolence.
Just as I erased the word “routine” from my vocabulary, so goes “busy.” Let’s turn down the noise and follow whichever choice leads us to a balanced, happy life. •
Tim McPhail says
“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
― Blaise Pascal, Pensées
I would add that all humanity’s achievements stem from the same inability.
Drew mentions that sometimes he “wants” to stare at the for walls. I’d be interested to hear if he’s ever been able to accomplish his desire. Maybe through a form of meditation? Maybe he can tell me his mantra 🙂
Tim McPhail
Pam McPhail says
Thanks for introducing profundity to this post, Tim.
No one can reveal a mantra, as you know, despite your best efforts over the years to uncover mine.
Judith Frank says
I relish an occasional day when I stay in pajamas all, or most of, the day. I can use the time any way I wish, and those days are delicious!
Pam McPhail says
I agree wholeheartedly, Judy.
Linda Richardson says
Does anyone find themselves occasionally competing with other “sunsetters” in terms of “busyness”? This is probably a holdover from competing with colleagues in the workplace or, if one didn’t work outside the home, with other home-based parents. I like the concept in the posting of choosing how busy I want to be and not judging my worth in retirement by how many activities I am engaged in.
Linda Richardson
Pam McPhail says
You’re right to introduce the notion of competition, Linda. Too often parents and retirees seem to compete to be the best at their new “jobs.”
Ken McLean says
The comments on the “busy ethic” of retirement are thought provoking. On consideration, though I’m a great fan of “leisure”, I do find that I share this ethic almost subconsciously. For example, I would feel that I was somehow wasting time if I were to watch tv in the morning or the afternoon (unless it were while riding the stationary bike). As for reading the 15 novels of Dickens, I see now that that was only a buildup to what I’m doing now: reading the complete works of Henry James (in alternation with recent fiction, including mysteries). I’m still a long way though from what my friend Stephen is doing: reading and rereading “Finnegans Wake”
Pam McPhail says
As I read on weekends and evenings during my professional life, it took years for me to feel comfortable reading fiction on a weekday afternoon. Curiously, I never felt guilty about surfing the web or playing games on my iPad, no matter the time of day. Something about technology…
Linda Richardson says
Now that he is retired, my spouse enjoys reading fiction in the afternoon, if it isn’t a golf day! On the other hand, I haven’t been able to break my habit of only reading fiction before bedtime. I am a real news program junkie during the day, though, when I am not out and about. Although this tends to raise my blood pressure it provides lots of fodder for Happy Hour discussions with said spouse.
Donna Golding says
Our retirement plans keep being moved further away by a husband who is reluctant to surrender his research interests. I have prided myself with my ability to adjust and find yet another project in the interim and maintain my sanity. There is no profound fear of having nothing to do once he stops working. We both have interests well away from our jobs. As a former teacher, I guess I continue to take the position of being a lifelong learner. Even if it’s just to install a new light fixture. I think the one dramatic unknown is how long our physical and mental health will afford us our choices of activity. I guess that speaks to not worrying too much about variables our of our control. Deal with the present and, as my brother once said, “life is not a dress rehearsal.” Momentum doesn’t have to be maintained at all times. I agree with former comments that being comfortable within yourself and by yourself is important.
Pam McPhail says
Glad you contributed personal, thoughtful observations to this post, Donna.
Rick says
Hi. I am a first time caller. It is easier to get thru to you than my local radio station. For that reason alone you may hear more from me. To date I have enjoyed your writings and the contributions of others. Best wishes for a busy web thingy.
Pam McPhail says
Thanks for adding humour to this post, Rick.
Dan Ruptash says
Well Hello Pam! Richard let me know about your “web page thingy” and I am sure he is anxiously awaiting to see if I post something. Sunset Years… Sunsetters ….? Shall I dare present my views on this topic and how it relates to the Existential Self and the attainment of our highest possible level of Self Actualization….I think not. People may start to view me as some sort of Intellectual and I certainly am not that! I will support your endeavor here and check in from time to time. Be well.
Dan ;-{D
Pam McPhail says
Hello Dan! When you attended Grant MacEwan College decades ago, you told me of Abraham Maslow and his theory of setting a hierarchy of needs that culminates in self actualization. Nothing wrong with your long term memory… Or mine.
Dan Ruptash says
Aaah….that was 45 years ago. It seems that we both were blessed with that “long term memory gene.” I do have fond memories of those conversations and many others. I am quite sure that my I.Q. level was boosted to just below the average as a direct result of Osmosis……..or Assmosis or something. Meanwhile back at the ranch….I like what Cameron Diaz said about our Sunset Years: “it is a privilege to get older” and that there is only one alternative. She also said something to the effect of…if we are fortunate, we will be older longer than we were young. I find that most thought provoking in may ways.
For me and my retirement (I still work 4 or 5 hr/week from my home), I find myself somewhat removed from daily routines other those that require bodily functions, nutrition and sleep. I feel equally comfortable doing something or doing nothing. Goal is to be as much as a fluff in wind as I can be.
If Life is a round of Golf, I am on the 13th tee box, 11 am..no sunset in sight at this time. Some clouds on the horizon…could get rained out..or maybe not. Lets go!