Glen Wickens, my husband and a retired English professor, submitted this article of apt quotations by Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965). Churchill served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 1940 to 1945 and again from 1951 to 1955. He led his country from the brink of defeat to victory during World War II.
Over the past seven months, enduring the pandemic has often been compared to experiencing a war, although one waged against an invisible enemy. When clinical trials of vaccines reach their final stages, we may all hope, in the words of famous war-time leader Winston Churchill, that while “this is not the end” or “even the beginning of the end … it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.” The master of the inspirational word — “We shall not fail or falter; we shall not weaken or tire” and the like — Churchill never lost his sense of humour. Let me give you a few examples as they might apply to life in the time of COVID-19.
If your alcohol consumption increases with each spike in cases and your spouse or partner grumbles, try recalling what Churchill, who loved his whiskey and water, once told his wife: “Always remember, Clemmie, that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”
Have you grown tired of your own voice during countless FaceTime or Zoom calls? Just remember that “A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.”
Worried about the upcoming U.S. Presidential election and how it will impact the struggle to control the pandemic? Be consoled: “You can always count on Americans to do the right thing — after they’ve tried everything else.”
Golfers have been allowed to flail away during the pandemic but might be running out of stories for the 19th hole. Churchill told one of a golfer who managed to hit his ball onto a beach strewn with anti-tank mines: “He took his niblick down to the beach, played the ball, and all that remained afterward was the ball, which returned safely to the green.”
Our Provincial Health Officer, Dr. Bonnie Henry, never tires of telling us to be kind and calm. That often means using tact or diplomacy to make a point. After all, “Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions.”
If, however, you want to be ready to confront a COVID ‘Karen’, you might study the art of the insult as perfected by Churchill. In one supposed exchange, Lady Nancy Astor, the first woman to take her seat in Parliament, complained, “Winston, if you were my husband, I’d poison your tea,” provoking Churchill to reply, “If I were your husband, I’d drink it.”
Have you been putting on weight during the pandemic? Don’t be self-conscious. Churchill, a drink in one hand and a cigar in the other, often dictated letters or orders in the buff. Even when he met Roosevelt in the White House for the first time he did not bother to put on any clothes: “You see, Mr. President, I have nothing to hide.”
Having trouble filling out your day because of all the pandemic closures? Keep writing. “History will be kind to me,” said Churchill, “for I intend to write it.”
Have you got in touch with old friends during the pandemic? In a controversial move, Churchill reached out to his longtime friend Lord Beaverbrook (Canadian born Max Aitken) to head up the Ministry of Aircraft Production. While novelist Evelyn Waugh felt compelled to “believe in the Devil if only to explain the existence of Lord Beaverbrook,” Churchill explained that “Some take drugs. I take Max.”
Living in serious times does not mean we need always be serious. When his private secretary recited bits of doggerel, Churchill laughed at one particular quatrain that begins high and ends low:
“Oh, Moon, lovely Moon, with thy beautiful face
Careering through the boundaries of space
Whenever I see thee, I think in my mind
Shall I ever, oh ever, behold thy behind.”
How many readers, nervous about flying, miss seeing their grandchildren and doing childish things with them? In Churchill’s case the boy never left the man in spite of the war. When a toy train set arrived for his grandson, Churchill supervised its assembly. Once both engines worked, he got down on his hands and knees and said, “Now, let’s have a crash!”
For anyone feeling down, Churchill offers a last piece of advice: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” •
P.S. Churchill took naps, ordinarily for an hour or so.
Chris Krueger says
I love it!!
Grant McPhail says
Thank you for a little shot of joy!
Ian says
It must be said that Glen is the Churchill of English professors and I am sure that I am not the only reader who was amused and delighted by his excellent review of some of Sir Winston’s memorable witticisms! May I add one more?
GB Shaw: Here are two tickets to the opening performance of my latest play. Bring a friend… if you have one.
WS Churchill: I cannot make the opening night but will attend your play on the second night… if you have one!
Pam McPhail says
Sadly, Ian, this witticism could also apply to the time of COVID-19, as most theatres are not having an opening, let alone a second, performance of plays.
Tim McPhail says
I’ve always thought if Time Magazine had a Person of the Century Award, instead of just Person of the Year Awards, I would vote for Winston. Although Albert Einstein would be a close second. Followed by Marie Curie.
Pam McPhail says
Time Magazine published a list of 100 influential people to celebrate the new millenium. Of the 100 chosen, Albert Einstein was named the Person of the Century, on the grounds that he was the preeminent scientist in a century dominated by science.
Sonya Bardati says
This was great witty reading, I just love to read your Friday’s Sunset Years, please keep doing it, it adds the spark of the day.
Pam McPhail says
Thanks for saying you enjoy my posts, Sonya. I will keep writing.⌨️
Linda says
A fun and interesting post this week Pam. I quite enjoyed it.
Glen Wickens says
Thanks everyone for reading and for your kind words. I wonder if Churchill would try my homemade version of the Cactus Club Bellini? This little shot of joy includes vodka, peach brandy, grenadine, and peach juice poured over ice shaved by a machine. The ice shaver is BC Lions’ orange, just to remind me that there might be a football season next year.
Patricia Young says
Now, I might just be able to provide the answer to your query, Glen, if some day I have the great delight of tasting one of your special Bellinis made with your “BC Lions’ orange” ice shaver. Meanwhile, I will take inspiration and pleasure from your very enjoyable application of Churchillian wit and wisdom to life in Covid times.
Pat
Glen Wickens says
Thanks, Pat. When the pandemic ends I will make you a Bellini to celebrate. Poor Churchill no doubt raised a glass of whiskey to celebrate victory in Europe but quickly lost to Labour in the first post-war election.
Jerry Fryer says
My sister Cathy passed this on to me. A good chuckle, and timely. If you haven’t already read it, although I suspect you might have, read Erik Larson’s book “The Splendid and the Vile”. It covers Churchill’s first year in power. Many parallels between that time and the present.
Jerry Fryer
Pam McPhail says
Yes. Reading Larson’s book prompted Glen, in part, to write his piece matching Churchill’s wit from the past to our present. An even better book by Larson is “The Devil in the White City.” Do you know it?
Marilyn Rivers-Bowerman says
Thanks for brightening my day, or should I say, days. With so much uncertainty and worry enveloping us, laughter is such welcome relief! My husband, Alec, enjoyed these humorous anecdotes very much too and added that the photo aptly captured Churchill’s extreme displeasure at having his cigar yanked out of his fingers by the very quick photographer. The look…priceless. Perhaps many of us feel similarly about the “losses” of the past nine months or so.
Pam McPhail says
I’m happy you and Alec enjoyed Glen’s post, Marilyn. Thanks for expanding his presentation of Churchill, adding even more humour, by telling the back story of the famed photo.