After completing an exercise to identify three each of my top values and strengths, I asked my brother Tim to reveal the same. Like me, he cited kindness, humility and integrity as essential values. When we went on to mention our strengths, however, I realized our exchange smacked of earnestness. I don’t take issue with earnest individuals; earnestness is a fine quality. But perhaps too much of it doesn’t serve us well? Tim and I agreed to introduce the word “joy” — to acknowledge the potential benefits of feeling joy and of imparting it to others. About our discussion Glen observed “joy is the residue that remains from having fun, the vanilla extract in a dessert recipe. It’s pure. For example, I have fun at a BC Lions game and then feel joy afterwards.”
The pandemic was no fun, in the definition of “something that provides mirth or amusement.” (Glen will say my statement has a stranglehold on the obvious; he’s being fun-ny.) And some of us may have forgotten how to have it, in terms of “enjoyment or playfulness.” Yet, psychologists assert fun has positive effects on the brain. Dr. Monica Vermani claims “it increases norepinephrine, the hormone responsible for memory and learning functions, dopamine, our ‘feel good’ hormone, and oxytocin, our pleasure hormone.” Given her glowing endorsement, fun should move near the top of our wellness list.
Fun needn’t equal a grand adventure or uproarious laughter (though I enjoy both). By defining it broadly, we can find it in small things and modest activities. Start by setting a goal to have fun at least once every day. And hold ourselves accountable. Last Saturday I sat on the steps of the Vancouver Art Gallery relishing a free concert by the 18-woman Sister Jazz Orchestra. No doubt their wondrous music wafting through the air triggered the right hormones in me. But to make certain, my inner voice announced to my brain “I am having fun.” On another day I experimented with the settings on my cell phone camera, trying to improve my capture of a gorgeous flower. Again I said the “f-word” (not the expletive) to my brain — to ensure the boost in hormones and also to satisfy my daily accountability.
Can’t seem to get motivated? Dedicate some fun in a day to a person who’s no longer capable of having it (as a variation on expressing our gratitude for the gift of living another day). Or resort to canned jokes: e.g. “Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby? She was a little horse.” Or, when you’re really stuck, “fake it till you make it!” •
P.S. The fun factor: A bit of fun every day will help keep the doctors away.
P.P.S. In the comments below, please share a few ways you add fun to your life.
Linda W says
Great post Pam. I know one activity where I have fun is when playing golf. It is quite amazing how it brightens my day. I will make a conscious effort to find something every other day. Thanks.
Pam McPhail says
Knowing you, Linda, I am confident you can find fun on many non golf days. 😉
Catherine says
I agree wholeheartedly that laughter is the best medicine which is a usual accompaniment to fun.
Pam McPhail says
Yes, laughter. It’s so important. “Official Competition” made me laugh aloud at several points. I recommend this Spanish movie.
Bruce Stevenson says
Great post Pam! It is interesting to get your take on earnestness. You know how I like to have fun and isn’t it ironic the “E” in E. Bruce Stevenson stands for Ernest. Maybe subconsciously I have been trying to shake the stigma of being earnest. In any case, it was great fun seeing you both recently and let’s never stop having fun when we do get together! E.B.
Pam McPhail says
I was among the many who used to rib you about being Ernest/ernest. But I primarily associate you with fun, Bruce, plenty of it. We’ll continue to have fun on our now infrequent occasions together.
Dale Severyn says
As Grant and I are about to celebrate another year of our marriage, I was reminded that one of the main ingredients to our partnership has been the fun and laughter. The fun and laughter has seen us through sickness and health, poor for sure, so now will hang in for richer.
Pam McPhail says
You are fortunate Dale, Grant too, to enjoy fun and laughter together during good and bad times. I wish you rich years ahead.
Marlie says
Fun is so important . In many ways the pandemic robbed us of those ridiculous little moments of hilarity. They are so important. Be silly I say it’s fun. Laugh until you….well you know.
Marlie
Pam McPhail says
When I asked you about values, Marlie, you mentioned “humour” as being important. Not everyone can be funny — though you are — but we can all try to develop our appreciation of humour and for having fun.
Glen Wickens says
A not too earnest take on the importance of not being too earnest. Good fun, Pam. On a slightly more serious note, I always remember my favourite literary theorist (Bakhtin) saying that laughter is not the enemy of seriousness but of all that is false about seriousness.
Pam McPhail says
Well said, Glen. Thanks for adding your gently humorous and serious remarks.
Tim McPhail says
I think your photos are very appropriate Pam. Young people are able to have fun so much more easily and often than seniors. Being in a fun loving environment makes having fun so much easier. Hurray for grandchildren.
Pam McPhail says
Tim, While I agree it can be easier to have fun around the innocence and joy of youth, we need to know how to stimulate feelings of fun on our own too, perhaps especially in our later years when it may be more challenging. Learning to take pleasure in simple moments helps.😘
Marilyn RB says
Thanks for your insightful post, Pam! It’s been a year since we moved east and I finally feel a bit settled. I see more light-heartedness, might I say, “fun” in the days ahead. I love your photo too!
Pam McPhail says
Glad to know you may be completing your transition to a new life, Marilyn, bold decision that it was. I wish you much fun ahead.