“When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.” G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936)
Some time ago we began reading and hearing about the value in feeling and expressing gratitude. Apparently being grateful can boost our immune system, reduce stress levels and improve sleep. It can also help improve self-esteem and lessen symptoms of depression. Broad claims, and yet neuroscience supports them.
When we pause and capture feelings of gratitude, our brain releases serotonin and dopamine, the neurotransmitters responsible for happiness. Plus our stress hormones get regulated. According to some psychologists, our brain became conditioned to be alert to the negative in our surroundings. For survival. Practicing gratitude adapts our behaviour to notice the positive instead. And sending positive impulses repeatedly along the neural pathways changes the structure of our brain. It builds new neural connections to our brain’s “bliss center”.
Since we cannot be fearful and grateful at the same time, we aim to train our nervous system to go into gratitude. In time it gets easier to transmit positive rather than negative impulses.
Months into the pandemic, downer that it is, I decided to try gratitude. Not to practice the rigour of daily writing but to bring regularly to mind aspects of life for which I am grateful. At first I thought big — loving family and friends, good health, happy retirement — then moved on to the minutiae: a gorgeous flower, a delectable recipe, a winning tennis shot (that one doesn’t repeat often).
Opinion is divided on whether we gain the most by practicing gratitude every day or once a week. By thinking of one, three or more things to appreciate at a time. By writing in a journal or just speaking to our inner self. While my pattern’s not fixed, feeling grateful is a ritual I will continue post pandemic. •
P.S. From Tilly and the Crazy Eights by Monique Gray Smith, I also follow the ritual of an Indigenous elder who starts his days with the same 17 words: “Thank you for the safe passage through the night and for the gift of living another day.”
P.P.S. It’s World Gratitude Day, celebrated annually on September 21st since 1965 when participants at an international gathering in Hawaii decided to dedicate one day each year to express gratitude for the wonderful things in the world. The following year many of them marked Gratitude Day in their own countries. Now huge numbers of people celebrate it globally. Will you express gratitude today?
Bruce says
I feel gratitude for having you and Glen as my friends and for all the fun we have had over the years.
Bruce
Pam McPhail says
Make that capital F for fun, Bruce. Glen and I miss our very merry times with you.🥰
Glen Wickens says
The feeling is mutual, Bruce, but let’s change the past tense to future and reunite for some fun, perhaps when you next come to Vancouver on a fund and friend raising trip for Bishop’s.
Deborah Etsten says
Today I am grateful that my friend Linda introduced me to your blog. Your views are always fresh, interesting and thoughtful.
Pam McPhail says
Deborah, Today I am grateful you became, through Linda, a faithful reader who often adds enlightening and complimentary comments to my posts.
Linda Richardson says
A very timely topic Pam. Although I don’t have a daily or even weekly ritual of expressing gratitude, there have been many times during the pandemic when I have whispered to myself how grateful I am for family, good friends and for vaccines that work!
Pam McPhail says
I am betting your whisper sometimes turns into a near shout, Linda, so hugely grateful are you for the three items on your list.
Janet Anderson says
Thanks for the article Pam.
I believe gratitude is so important. It helps to keep me grounded and present as each night I give thanks for something in my day.
What a lovely tribute to you and Glen from Bruce.
Pam McPhail says
You follow a healthy ritual, Janet, and I suspect you send more positive than negative impulses to your brain these days.
Yes, Bruce is a BFF from our years in Quebec.
Catherine McCallum says
What a wonderful concept for the day!
We often tend to get inundated by all the negative these days so it is a challenge to to try and stay focussed on the positive. Today I am grateful I had the luck to have been born in this wonderful country. A country where we take for granted all the privileges it has endowed on us. The right to vote, to go bed in peace, to take any opportunity for education and spiritual growth. Sure there is discrimination, poverty and hatred in our country but I would not trade it for any other in the world.
Pam McPhail says
Very well said, Cathy. My mom used to call Edmonton the best city in the best province in the best country in the world. Maybe you felt that way about our hometown before you retired to BC.
Ian says
Pam, I am grateful for many things, not least for your enlightening posts and for Glen’s wry sense of humour.
Pam McPhail says
Thanks for your compliments, Ian. Glen and I receive them gratefully. I will add that we are fortunate to have you and Pat as “new” friends (nine years and counting) in Vancouver.
Linda W says
Pam, I am grateful for our medical system throughout this pandemic but more selfishly, for providing me with a new knee. Given what is going on in some countries, I am so grateful I was born and grew up in a clean, free and wealthy country. I am grateful my parents were a part of my life into my 60’s and friends, including you and Glen, have been in my life.
Thanks for reminding me to think of these things.
Pam McPhail says
Good and gratifying observations, Linda. I especially like the one about Glen and me.😉 We’re happy you came into our lives.
Marilyn RB says
So true, Pam! My Mom encouraged us to count our blessings every day. I don’t think I really understood this as a child but it made me open to the idea and the experience of gratitude later on. I have had a quote of John Milton posted on my fridge for years, “ Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world.” It’s a bit convoluted with words we rarely use in daily life but it nevertheless speaks to me. The coronavirus lockdown made the conscious experience of gratitude even more important. It was too easy to despair. I would begin my days with a cup of coffee in hand and make my “gratitude list”. Today I am grateful for being able to experience the calm of silence, grateful that the painting in our house is nearly half done, that the creeping geraniums I planted are still blooming, that medical professionals even care for those who “revile” them, grateful for our free and open democracy (for all its faults), for dear and kind friends and loving family here and afar. I love the photo of the flowers you shared, Pam, and am grateful for the sunshine and brilliance you brought to my day in the posting of it.
Pam McPhail says
Yes, Marilyn, you’d need a written reminder of Milton’s insight; it’s too profound and, as you say, convoluted to commit to memory. I’m happy to have come across the simpler, 17 gratifying words of an elder to recite every morning. Thanks for adding your beautifully expressed items of gratitude. I’ll borrow the ones about medical professionals and democracy for my lists.