“Canadians who are fully vaccinated against COVID-19 can hug each other” headlined national news of the Public Health Agency’s new guidelines effective June 25th. Next I await announcement of a “B.C. Hug Day”, as pitched to our Premier by health officer Dr. Bonnie Henry, who says “it’s one of the things I’m missing most in this pandemic.”
The word hug comes from the old Norse word “hugga”, which means “to comfort”. Although I’ve long enjoyed hugging to express affection, I did not know its meaning or the physiological explanation. Skin — the body’s largest organ — has receptors that take in everything. When we hug people, we feel them, and our pressure receptors then signal our brains to activate the vagus nerve, responsible for slowing the heart rate, blood pressure and the production of stress hormones. Researchers claim regular hugging also helps to reduce aggression and encourage friendship. Moreover, and maybe most important, a warm embrace increases levels of oxytocin — dubbed the love hormone. Oxytocin promotes feelings of trust, nurturing and calm.
Many people were not huggers before the pandemic and, because of it, many others will be wary of close physical contact indefinitely. However, we can greet friends and family in different ways, while trying to sense, and be sensitive to, their preference.
NONVERBAL GREETINGS
- Bow: An elegant form of communication, the bow figures prominently in Korean TV shows and movies.
- Bump: Although often associated with sports, fist bumps and elbow touches have become more common. Perhaps former President Barack Obama and Michelle helped popularize the fist bump after a photo of them doing it during his 2008 election campaign went viral.
- Handshake: Recently a friend told me about the possible origin of the handshake. The gesture began as a way to convey peaceful intentions; by extending their empty right hands, strangers showed they were not holding weapons. But what about southpaws who favour shaking with their left hand? And what about Dr. Anthony Fauci saying we should end handshakes altogether? In March 2020 he stated “our long-cherished hand-to-hand greeting was the world’s No. 1 germ spreader.”
- Kiss: I didn’t consider social kissing until we moved to Quebec, where it’s de rigueur. But do we kiss one cheek, two or three, right or left first, by touch or air? Or, since the pandemic, not at all? The cheek kiss is more art than science, varying as it does from culture to culture. Bonne chance in getting it right.
- Wave: In some instances a simple wave might suffice. The motion of our hand says hello, plus the moving target preempts someone springing a physical greeting on us.
Chris says
Looking forward to many hugs in the near future!
Catherine McCallum says
I’m a hugger, always have been, so it was with great relief that hugging became okay again. I remember well a former Alberta Lieutenant Governor, Lois Hole, who had a penchant for hugging. She would hug heads of state and common folk without pause. Because it was from her heart, the practice was accepted even from cultures and dignitaries where it was not accepted.
Cookie says
HUG, HUG, HUG and hopefully soon!!
Glen Wickens says
Poor Hamlet should have spent more time hugging and less time thinking. I will try to be more of a hug-her.
Pam McPhail says
Thanks for picking up on my Shakespearean allusion. No harm in you giving he-hugs too!
Linda W says
I am a hugger but a little nervous about whether the person I am wanting to hug is comfortable with it. Hugging upon meeting or departing used to be the norm and I hope we get back to it.
Tanya Loretto says
I love hugs, but realize the importance of asking first. No more hand shakes for me.
This pandemic has made so many societal shifts…
Thanks for the great reflection!
Janet Anderson says
Growing up my family were huggers, and it is certainly something I’ve missed during this pandemic.
Glen, loved your comments!
Fair warning Pam, I intend to hug you when you’re in Edmonton!
Pam McPhail says
Thanks for adding your comments, readers, all self-identified huggers. Now I feel free to greet each of you with a warm embrace when next we meet!
Linda Richardson says
I am so happy to be able to hug my children and grandchildren again and glad that relatives of those in long term care will soon be able to hug their loved ones again. Your blog post also got me thinking about the practice in the NICU of skin to skin contact between premie babes and their parents. Studies have shown how those hugs contribute quite dramatically to the health of the little ones.
Pam McPhail says
Good points, Linda. And apparently the hugs we receive, or not, as infants contribute to our feelings about hugging later in life.
Colleen Kawalilak says
Love your post Pam. While growing up, hugs were never given in our family so I went the opposite direction and I’m definitely a hugger. Through my work, I travel extensively to many countries where English is not the spoken language. Because of this, gestures, body language, and hugs communicate so much.I have come to realize that the spoken word between people can sometimes actually “get in the way” of communicating deeply. I know that sounds like a contradiction but I have often experienced connecting more deeply with those who do not speak English. In light of this, we need to find other ways to communicate, beyond our words. Hugs are powerful and have the potential to transcend beyond our differences to a place of common ground. It’s also wonderful to experience all the different ways that people hug in around the world. Makes me think of travelling through France and needing to visit different “rest stops”, one soon realizes there are 100 different ways to pee😂 in France… not sure why I drew that particular analogy but it came to mind so there it is…you must admit that would make an interesting book title sometime down the road!
Always appreciate reading and reflecting on your thoughtful blogs Pam.
Take good care and I’m sending you a hug🤗
Pam McPhail says
Love your comments, Colleen, and your humour. If you write the book, I will read it!
Just as a picture is worth a thousand words, you suggest a hug “talks” too. I appreciate that interpretation.
Huggin’ you back!