Be kind. Be calm. Be safe.” Dr. Bonnie Henry, Provincial Health Officer for British Columbia
Most BC residents can recite the three-pronged mantra that Dr. Henry introduced in March 2020 during her daily updates on Covid-19 to assuage our fears and anxiety about the pandemic. Her words combined science and compassion. Acts of kindness release the happy hormones (dopamine, oxytocin) that effect positive changes in our brain, heart and immune systems, and may lessen depression. Our bodies are healthy when we’re kind, and Dr. Henry cautioned us to be healthy in resisting the virus.
While we may try consciously to avoid being unkind, do we ever ask ourselves if we’re being kind? How often do we deliberately practice kindness in our words and actions? Kindness doesn’t have to take the form of heroic feats. We needn’t dive into a frigid lake and save a drowning person (though I would if need be). We can smile at a stranger, hold open a door, offer to carry a heavy bag, or let someone with fewer items cut before us in the grocery line. Modest gestures afford the same rewards as grand ones. And just as our muscles respond well to regular training, so too do our brains when kindness becomes a habit. But don’t turn a habit into routine. Preparing a delectable dinner every night for Glen no longer constitutes kindness, despite his appreciation. Variety in our actions is key to amplifying the welcome reactions.
As enlightened self-interest, East Van Roasters offers a pay-it forward system. Patrons of the café can buy an extra, ‘suspended’ coffee that gets listed on a chalkboard. When there are numbers on the board, underprivileged individuals pop in to enjoy a ‘suspended’ beverage for free. I wish more enterprises presented this opportunity: anonymous donors exercise kindness and recipients feel its loving partner — gratitude.
In The Five Side Effects of Kindness Dr. David Hamilton elaborates on the following benefits:
- kindness makes us happier,
- improves relationships,
- is good for the heart,
- slows ageing, and
- is contagious.
Since 1998 World Kindness Day is observed annually on November 13 as part of an international movement promoting the importance of being kind to one another, to ourselves, and to the world. I aim to join the contagion of kindness. ♥
Linda Richardson says
Pam, I love the title and thought behind this blog post. These days, the word “contagion” has such a scary, negative connotation so I was pleased to see it used in this very positive, healing way. Kind of the same idea as “paying it forward.” One small kindness given to one person may “infect” that person and encourage him/her to pass it on to others, and perhaps become contagious.
Pam McPhail says
On many occasions you have “infected” me with your kindness, Linda. I hope to have passed it on.
Marlie says
You can never be too kind or say thank you too much.
Pam McPhail says
Agreed!
Linda Watts says
I think I am a kind person and endeavour to do nice things and goods deeds all the time. I think this is so important for us all to get along.
Pam McPhail says
You are a kind person, Linda, and that’s why we get along so well…
Linda says
Thanks Pam.
Deborah Etsten says
Beautiful thoughts, Pam. I already try to practice the K-word every day but there are many times when I must remind myself not to be so critical or judgmental. We all need a boost now and then and it takes so little to make it happen. As you say, even a smile at a stranger can be a start.
Pam McPhail says
Thanks for your candour, Deborah. I’m going to use your abbreviation — K-word — to trigger daily acts and words of kindness.
Patricia Young says
Thank you, Pam, for alerting your readers to World Kindness Day – a date of which I was unaware. Sadly, it being 14 November here in Ohope Beach NZ, I have missed the actual day. No matter, as every day should be kindness day. You have reminded us all of how very important this one action can be. It is so easy to accomplish, can be incredibly powerful in its effect and, as your title says, is contagious.
Pat
Pam McPhail says
Pat, I wonder if you find people in New Zealand are kinder than in Canada? Likely impossible to measure. Many posts ago you added a comment about “reciprocal kindness”, words to the effect (though more eloquently stated) about feeling good by making the effort to smile at a stranger who then also feels good; with you I am writing to the already committed.
Marie McLean says
I had no idea there was a World Kindness day. Thanks for your post. A nice reminder to take the time to be kind.
Pam McPhail says
A few years ago I happened upon a bit of graffiti, and its profound simplicity moved me: “HumanKind. Be both.” I try…
Chris Krueger says
A lovely reminder. I am sometimes surprised by the more intense reactions to the everyday kindness I share. I love ‘Humankind’!
Ian Wallace says
Pam, It would be difficult to find two kinder souls than you and Glen. Here in NZ, on a vast and mostly deserted beach, walkers often greet and smile at one another, even from quite a distance. Those who don’t bother are thought to be from big city Auckland.
In advising us to be kind, Dr Bonnie has made a huge impact on BC society. She would be my choice for the next Nobel Peace Prize.
Pam McPhail says
Ian, Although the international kindness movement began in 1998 (who knew?), Dr. Bonnie Henry promoted kindness more successfully in 24 months than the movement in 24 years. I second your choice for the prestigious prize.
P.S. Thanks for your kind words about Glen and me, exaggerated though they are.