A dog has occupied a prime position in Glen’s and my life together ever since we met decades ago. In the early years a border collie mix named Jude gave us pleasure and occasionally distress when he disappeared following the scent of another dog, likely a female in heat. Thankfully his strong instincts also brought him home, albeit many hours later. We switched to females who wander less. Next came a champagne retriever Tess whose abiding trait was never wanting to be a bother, not even in her quiet death on our arrival in Toronto for Christmas 2000. In the New Year, thanks to a lead from our friend Vicki, we rescued an eight-month-old golden retriever, Cheyenne, and she brought us joy for almost 14 years.
When Cheyenne’s demise broke our hearts, I wanted to pause, mourn, reflect, but Glen had to fill the hole with another dog. I could not deny his fervent wish. After scanty research and a recommendation from Glen’s brother, we rushed into a decision to get a Brittany Spaniel, a breed small enough to travel in the baggage hold of an airplane on flights between Vancouver and Scottsdale. We picked up a cute, 11-week-old female in Nowhere Arizona and chose to name her the homonym of Flair/Flare, as several of the connotations suited her.
To declare we underestimated the difficulty in managing an indefatigable, demanding pup represents a blatant understatement. Although we anticipated the usual challenges in house-breaking and training, Flair took everything to an extreme. Accidents became disasters, nips led to bites, affection caused aggression. On a leash she jerked us along at full tilt as she sniffed and swallowed anything, everything, in reach. She’d jump up on people or poke their private parts with her inquisitive nose. She refused to learn a recall command; in an off-leash park she wore a 15′ leash for us to step on to retrieve her.
Flair also threw fits on walks, turning abruptly on me with bared teeth, drawing my blood in her attacks. Glen and I talked interminably about her, trying in vain to explain her unacceptable behaviour. I wanted to admit we’d made a mistake, send Flair to an acreage, and begin anew with a tamer breed. Glen could not.
Several frustrating months later, he began taking Flair to puppy training classes — to no real avail. She later attended boarding school for two weeks of obedience training yet continued to hold sway over us.
One morning I met a dog whisperer in an off-leash park in the West End. Lucy not only counselled us in training Flair to fetch and return a tennis ball, thus promoting adequate exercise, but also helped in resolving my untenable relationship with her. Apparently Flair had to acknowledge my hierarchy in the “pack” to bring her impulsive attacks to an end. I won’t outline the tactics both Glen and I implemented on Lucy’s advice but will say her flare-ups stopped, after two and a half long years. I’ve formed a weak attachment to Flair, although she remains a strong presence in our home.
To reap the benefits of a dog, choose the breed prudently. A reference book may say a breed likes exercise, but there’s a gulf between walking and running a dog. I’ve since read — and experienced — a Brittany shows hyperactivity when not given ample exercise. Flair also demonstrates “separation anxiety” (misconduct) when left alone for too long. And she whines when excited or stressed.
Consider finding a mature dog, rather than a pup, so you get a clear sense of her temperament. We bonded easily and completely with Cheyenne at eight months of age.
BENEFITS OF A PET
- Taking a dog for a 30 minute walk every day improves our health.
- Owning a dog gives structure and purpose to our days.
- Petting, playing with or simply watching a dog reduces stress.
- Chatting with fellow dog owners when walking a dog or at an off-leash park alleviates loneliness.
- Having a dog is linked to lower blood pressure, reduced cholesterol and decreased triglyceride levels, which contribute to better cardiovascular health.
- Caring for a dog can help relieve the blues and encourage us to be more positive.
- Knowing a dog will use its keen sense of hearing to detect anyone prowling around increases our sense of security.
Every project needs a leader, whether in the workplace or at home. For a long while we failed to designate a leader, and our conflicting styles of treating Flair caused her confusion and me resentment. Along the way, we realized Glen needed this project in retirement more than I did. Our situation became acceptable once he assumed control, making the pet project — and the benefits thereof — his alone. •
Donna Golding says
I enjoyed reading this as I am in agreement with many vets who do not encourage everyone to become a pet owner. It’s a serious financial responsibility and a life commitment to the pet. There are incredible gains for us when we are ready for a pet and steer through the precarious early stages of training. Some breeds have known characteristics that are often overlooked in the initial selection and,unfortunately,are displayed to the owner’s dismay. My eldest is a vet and she and her husband are only now beginning to look for a dog. Her long hours as well as her husband’s schedule make it a complex decision. She can bring the dog to work but it’s not ideal to have him kennelled all day. They’ve waited until flex hours have one of them working from home several days of the week. I’m happy that Flare has had a happy ending. From the picture who would guess anything other than a calm and pleasant disposition.
Pam McPhail says
Thanks for elaborating on the topic, Donna. Are you currently a pet owner? You likely had at least one dog in your past that instilled a love of animals in your daughter.
Donna Golding says
Currently, Gracie, a twelve year old Bichon. Previously, a chocolate lab, Dalhousie. Then there was the part corgi,part badger Tina. I don’t think you would remember Eastglen had a biology club. I was exposed to quite a variety of creatures. Both daughters had similar exposure primarily thanks to their father, a biologist. So, while growing up surrounded by many pets, neither have pets at the moment. I think many in their generation find it very difficult to afford the time. I really hope they both will be able to change that in their lives before retirement.
rick m in Santa Fe says
after our first visit with Pam & Glen & Flair, in anticipation of our next visit, I bought a Goalie’s cup.
Pam McPhail says
Thanks for adding your dry wit!
Linda Richardson says
Pam I salute you for sharing your vulnerabilities and missteps in your blog posts. Maybe in retirement, we become more fearless and less afraid of what others think about us.
Pam McPhail says
You’re right we care less about the views others hold of us. I like to think it’s partly because we’ve grown into our best selves, so we no longer fear or anticipate bad judgements.
Glen Wickens says
I would like to think that our dog is now more Flair than Flare, more manageable and a little less boisterous when showing affection. Big red flag for prospective dog owners: don’t trust the dog books. In the several we read before buying Flair, the description of the Brittany Spaniel matched that of the Golden Retriever, as if size were the only difference. The challenge moving forward, for Pam at least, is how to press delete on the early and difficult years with Flair.
Pam McPhail says
Yeah. I must try to forget or forgive the trying times.