A few years ago I wrote that some individuals retire to escape routines yet, paradoxically, routines can form the very framework necessary for happiness in our sunset years. In retirement I recognized the need to shape my days and weeks but decided to replace the uninspiring word ‘routine’ with ‘ritual’. The year 2020 reminded me of the imperative in establishing and maintaining rituals. To coax me into positivity.
Using the right side of my brain I try to be creative in naming them, though readers may notice my (prosaic) penchant for alliteration. From the left — logical — side I choose to work on math. Although the government imposed subtractions to my life, I can devise permissible additions. My summation below gives a dozen rituals that will extend into the new normal. (Please excuse any repetition from prior posts.)
RESTORATIVE RITUALS
- Movie Mondays. Each week Glen and I watch a new or old movie meant to spark conversation during our in-home date night on Tuesday.
- Takeout Tuesdays. We dress for the occasion that begins with an in-depth discussion of our previous night’s viewing, followed by an order I pick up at a restaurant in our ’hood. Maybe our date is better dubbed Travel Tuesdays since we sample cuisine from around the world. Or Tasty Tuesdays?
- No Wine Wednesdays: we are not oenophiles and want to abstain from Whine Wednesdays.
- TV Thursdays. Given our regularity in watching TV, I can review shows on my blog to write myself into a good mood.
- Fondue Fridays is a retro night as we savoured fondues often in the ’80s. To embellish our table, and to support local arts, I bought Haida designed pieces from the Bill Reid Gallery.
- Staydays don’t necessarily occur on Saturdays or Sundays. This spring I will revise my list of places, new and familiar, for a day’s excursion.
- Grandboys Book Club. Every other night I pinch hit for my son-in-law by reading on FaceTime to our young grandsons at their bedtime.
- In a January post I celebrated forest bathing; it ranks near the top of ongoing habits.
- Having discovered comfortable benches amid nature, I will read outdoors again when the weather obliges. (Of course hardy individuals will ask why not now?)
- Like 300 million others, I talk on Zoom with my friends and family from near and far. Zoom currently substitutes for our family reunions, which could prove ambitious to orchestrate even in pre-pandemic times.
- A former yoga partner challenged us to resume the practice. Now I follow an instructor twice weekly to improve my flexibility and strength while being cognizant of Pranayama.
- Reconnecting, serendipitously, with schoolmates of 50+ years ago has boosted my social engagement. And the distant past occupying space in my present feels right.
Glen and I conclude our evenings with a cup of naturally caffeine free tea, as a sleep aid and to shop local at Murchie’s — proudly Canadian since 1894. •
P.S. It’s also beneficial to indulge in nothing, yes, in a healthy ritual of doing nothing. The modern malady of ‘idleness aversion’ no longer ails me.
P.P.S. Please share in the comments below your rituals of 2020 that will continue in 2021 and beyond.
Barbara Richardson says
I suspect many of your readers can relate to this as most of us have conscious or sub-conscious rituals. Even in retirement I still feel like Friday and Saturday nights are special and I try to do something to mark the end of the week. Sunday it’s the cable news shows: State of the Union, Face the Nation, Meet the Press, Fareed Zakaria. I don’t get those channels here in Vancouver so now I’m back to my old Sunday ritual of reading The Economist cover to cover. Back before it was online, and I was living overseas, I would always hunt down where I could buy it weekly. It was my comfort ritual.
Pam McPhail says
Interesting that you still acknowledge the end of the work week. I can easily lose track of days as they blend into one another. Establishing and naming rituals for specific days helps keep me in a calendar, which I prefer to the blur. (Not so sure The Economist and your Sunday news sources can be associated with “comfort” in 2020.😉)
Glen Wickens says
And the last day of the week has become Steak Sunday when the King of the Q (a friend’s nickname for me) cooks tenderloins on the BBQ, the one main course that always attracts our son, turning Sunday night into a traditional family dinner.
Glen Wickens says
Attention Barbara: you can watch CNN Live and other news channels on the internet. No need to miss your favourite shows.
Barbara Richardson says
Glenn – haha yes, the internet is great. But the comfort is linked to the ritual of watching old school TV…
Tanya loretto says
What a great post. Rituals are so important, especially during these pandemic times. One of my own rituals is to ask, usually during dinner time “what’s your news?” to each family member. Sometimes, quite often, they will start with “I have no news, it’s the same as every day.” Occasionally one will say “it’s Groundhog Day, how can anything be new?” But when I push or give examples from my own day, then things come out. Even the smallest thing can be news- eg I repotted a plant today. And when someone shares “big” news then the rest of us get very excited. It’s a silly, but fun ritual.
Pam McPhail says
I love your ritual, Tanya. Your question may gently encourage your family to live in the present, to be observant, so they — and you — can come up with an observation of the day. My “news” of yesterday: I spotted a few bold yellow blossoms emerging from dark soil. Ah. A welcome sign of spring.
Linda Richardson says
I’m impressed by the consistency and variety of rituals that both you Pam and your readers have shared. Something that happened last March when Rick and I returned early from a British Isles trip has blossomed into a ritual for us. During our self isolation, daughter Hayley started calling us each day using her car’s blue tooth on her way home from work. She would ask how we were feeling and whether we needed anything. That phone call has continued but now we use it to talk about her day, our day, family matters and what is happening in the world. So it has become a welcome ritual for us and, hopefully, for her as well.
Pam McPhail says
A daily call begun by necessity has turned into a pleasant ritual at day’s end for you, Rick and Hayley. That’s great, Linda. Thanks for sharing this positive addition to your daily schedules.