Decades ago I got (well, my dad got me) my first job requiring a social insurance number: a waitress (the job title in my day) at The Waffle Shop in downtown Edmonton. In addition to learning how to take and place orders, balance a tray of food and beverages, clear tables, operate a cash register and generally be pleasant, I came to realize everyone would benefit from experiencing both sides of the service industry — serve and be served — to grasp the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Waitstaff, or servers as they’re commonly called now, witness the best and worst in people. During my career I faced inappropriate behaviour, some becoming lore to relate in my later years. For instance, when working as a cocktail waitress at the David Thompson Hotel in Kamloops BC, I served a table of men, who all turned rowdy and one rude. “If you bother me again,” I cautioned the boor, “you’ll wear your next drink!” To my satisfaction, he chose to test me. To his friends’ amusement, I poured a rye and ginger over his head. Ice cubes too!
My morning walk in Vancouver circles to McDonald’s for a refillable mug of coffee to take home. Given my daily appearance, a young server started paying me special attention; we exchanged pleasantries throughout the dreary pandemic. When I found out Olive is saving her wages (no tips) to enrol in a massage therapy program this fall, I bought her a thank you card and slipped a hundred dollar bill into the envelope. (Conversely, I bought a coffee most mornings at a McDonald’s in Scottsdale. But for five months the server there treated me like a stranger.)
Today is National Waitstaff Day, an occasion to express our appreciation to the individuals who work long hours on their feet, often for minimum wage, trying to satisfy their customers’ needs and desires, while dealing with conduct that varies from courteous to rude and agreeable to unruly. Today we’re meant to show servers kindness, respect, and to tip generously. When you think about it, though, shouldn’t we practice these actions every time we transact with waitstaff?
Please share your story about the service industry in the comments below. •
P.S. This year I am especially grateful to those who showed up to work during the pandemic. It cannot have been easy for them!
Barbara Richardson says
So many women have stories of our days as a waitress. It’s a tough job and gets little recognition. The worst was the morning shift. Everyone is cranky and oh how picky people are about their breakfast! Coffee instantly. Milk not cream! How do you want your eggs? Don’t get me started. And who knew that there is a whole thing around how dark they want their toast. And at the end of it all, after running around to get the food out fast (‘I have to get going..’),lousy tips. But I learned a lot about human nature that has served me well.
Pam McPhail says
As a server we can learn valuable skills about enduring/managing a host of personality types. You likely donned a pleasant persona, Barb, even when encountering unpleasant individuals. Performance art in the making — which you mastered and put to excellent use in your career.
Linda W. says
I have never had the opportunity to be a server in the restaurant business, although my entire career was definitely in the service business. It wasn’t often I had conversations with friendly people as a supervisor in the call centre of CRA.
I am in total agreement with you Pam about being gracious to all service people through this pandemic.
Thanks for the reminder.
Pam McPhail says
Linda, Some days you must have felt like a complaints officer? But your job didn’t seem to take a toll; you present as a positive (uncomplaining) person.
Ian says
Excellent post Pam! I am glad that you put that rye cocktail to good use!
For two summers I toiled in a downmarket beer parlour and once a massive customer gave me a poke under my tray. This resulted in 10 glasses of beer sloshing onto his lap. Nonetheless, he apologised and paid up graciously.
What do you think of the situation in France where café staff are very professional, perhaps in part because of the automatic 15% ‘service compris’ charge which is added to the bill?
Or Australia where tipping seems almost unknown?
I am sure the grateful McDonald’s employee will never forget your thoughtful largesse!
Pam McPhail says
Ian, Put simply, I favour whatever system — tipping or not — provides a “living wage” to servers. These years many establishments require servers to distribute a portion of their tips among all restaurant staff. A server explained that, at the end of a shift, it’s assumed he received 18% of his total pre-tax sales (could be more, hopes not less) in tips, of which he pools 9% to others in the restaurant.
I don’t know the hourly wage McDonald’s pays to its employees, but no one gets rich there (except, at some franchises, the owners).
Nancy Tronsgard says
Hi Pam,
I too had a waitress job all through high school at the local ‘Chinese/Canadian Cuisine’ diner. I worked Friday and Saturday nights and all through the summer. The restaurant was near a cluster of motels that were packed during the Stampede, and had a steady trade from the strip mall customers where it was the anchor on a corner, and the cab drivers and shift workers who were regulars.
$0.65/hour with maybe $0.50 in tips for a whole shift. It was nice to get a nickel tip for a $0.99 hamburger and a coffee. I made enough in those three years to pay for tuition for first year uni.
I learned a lot at that job, and I think the most lasting thing was from the other women. All of them were much older, as was the kitchen staff. I learned that the overworked guy in the back was ‘not a machine’ as he shouted at us on occasion when we put our bills on his spike and came back half an hour later when the booths of people were starting to shout at us to demand ‘Pick up!’.
I learned that a lot of women had much harder lives than I could imagine. They were working to pay the rent and put food on the tables for their kids. Most of them had spouses who worked, but there was no way, no matter how hard they all worked, that their lives would get better. And this was in the booming 60’s. I think of Val and Teresa sometimes, who took me under their wing, and wonder what their lives were like when they were old ladies and no longer able to work.
Yes, I am so grateful to all of the front line people who worked through the pandemic, grocery clerks, pharmacists, drivers, food producers, warehouse workers, the people we rarely think of. We ordered pick up from a couple of our favorite places once a week, and I tipped very generously. We still do.
What a lovely gesture to the person who treated you like a person. I hope she succeeds in her plans, and I think you have given her a story that she will be telling for a long time.
Thanks for writing on this topic.
Pam McPhail says
Thanks for adding your observations, Nancy. Your relationships with the seasoned staff seem to have taught you empathy. What a wonderful trait to acquire at a fairly early age. Do you think your/our enlightened appreciation of front line people who worked through the pandemic will in any way — eg. higher wages, greater respect — improve their condition? Hope so.
Cate Pengelly says
Nancy,
Call me
Cathy Frazer
Catherine McCallum says
Thanks Pam for your post reminding us to treat all people who “serve” us with courtesy through actions.
My two jobs waitressing bring nothing but good memories. Both in the Rockies. The first was at the Rimrock Inn in Banff. I took the year off university studies and prior to a planned European trip I worked at the hotel in the fall of 1972. It was a slow period in September so I spent time in the lounge which had a TV broadcasting the Canada – USSR hockey series. All the guests and wait staff were glued to the screen when Paul Henderson scored his infamous goal to win that series.
As a server, I also got to visit with a lonely man from California who had just lost his wife and was taking the bucket list trip she never got. He was the only diner in the room for over an hour so we got to discuss everything from the bear at the bottom of the hill outside the window, to his marriage and life in Califirnia and my upcoming trip. When he left, he thanked me profusely for listening and left me a whopping tip. It still brings tears to my eyes this many years later.
To this day I try to treat wait staff in restaurants with courtesy. They get blamed for everything such as bad or slow meals, all with a smile or apology, even when they have no control over the situation. I cringe when out with others who constantly complain about the meals they are served (sometimes with the hope they will get them free!), are condescending or downright rude. I try to conteract their actions by praise or apologies. I will definitely try avoid dining with them in the future.
Pam McPhail says
Cathy, You tell great anecdotes from your experiences as a server. And I had the good fortune to witness firsthand, after dining with you (50 years later) during the pandemic, how courteously you treat restaurant staff. I think my similar behaviour will keep me on your list of future dining partners.😉
Catherine says
Absolutely!