WISDOM WASTED?

If youth is wasted on the young — an observation widely attributed to George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) — then wisdom is wasted on the old.

During our lives we experience innumerable events, good and bad, listen to or witness the trials and achievements of family and friends, read hundreds (thousands) of books and newspapers, watch countless movies and TV shows. If we pay attention, if we analyze the content of these many influences over the years, if we learn from them, then we gain wisdom. But who will benefit from our wisdom? Very few people will take it, least of all those closest to us.

I’m not talking about taking our children, grandchildren, nieces or nephews to museums, galleries, historic sites. Such outings enrich their lives, for sure, representing time well spent. But how often do we wish we’d understood then what we understand now. And if only we could pass on the insights we’ve realized over time. It’s especially difficult to communicate through the generations — because youth wants to experience the world on its own terms. Naturally so.

Following are a few insights, first related to me as adages, that I wish I’d followed then…

LESSONS LEARNED

• If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Perhaps it takes time to appreciate the true meaning of the word ‘nice’. Nice can connote weak, boring, predictable. After all, nice guys — and girls — finish last. Wrong. The dictionary defines the word as “kind; pleasing; agreeable.” Given the denotation, who shouldn’t aspire to be nice and to say nice things? 
• “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit…” stated Oscar Wilde (1854-1900). While wit is a keen perception, aptly expressed to awaken amusement, sarcasm is a cutting remark that generally gets laughs at someone’s expense. Instead of being funny, it can be hurtful or embarrassing. 
• “To err is human; to forgive, divine,” wrote Alexander Pope (1688-1744). Forgiveness is one of the best traits a person can possess. How much time do or did we waste on petty disagreements? Grudges weigh us down and cause us stress. If something isn’t a life or death situation, how meaningful is it? Practice forgiveness instead. Forgiveness is not about pride or ego; it’s something we do to help us find peace. For a powerful model, think of Nelson Mandela who emerged from 27 years in prison and said: “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”
• Remember the proverb “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink”? We can hope to be one of a number of positive influences, maybe even an important one, in the lives of those near or dear to us. We can offer opportunities to people. And we can show by example. But we cannot control or dictate the behaviour of others, young or old.

By this stage, we’ve identified our principles. And we now choose our friends and acquaintances based on them. Sure we can disagree, gently, on politics, but we need some shared values to create a community of friends.

If our wisdom’s wasted on others, let’s at least benefit personally from it by striving to become better versions of ourselves. •

P.S. In the profound words of William Wordsworth (1770-1850): “Wisdom is oftentimes nearer when we stoop than when we soar.”